Trashing Teens: Some Food
Cortez, Editor -- The Eclectic Telelgraph
much togetherness with your teen this summer? Consider these ideas from
an article I read recently in Psychology Today:
contained in the article:
age at which Americans reach adulthood is increasing—30
is the new 20—and most Americans now believe a person
isn't an adult until age 26.
current education system was created in the late 1800s and early
1900s, and was modeled after the new factories of the industrial
revolution. Public schools, set up to supply the factories with
a skilled labor force, crammed education into a relatively small
number of years.
The factory system doesn't work in the modern world, because
two years after graduation, whatever you learned is out of date.
We need education spread over a lifetime, not jammed into the
early years—except for such basics as reading, writing,
and perhaps citizenship.
effect is the creation of a new segment of society just waiting
to consume, especially if given money to spend. There are now
massive industries—music, clothing, makeup—that
revolve around this artificial segment of society and keep it
going, with teens spending upward of $200 billion a year almost
entirely on trivia.
should be learning from the people they are about to become.
When young people exit the education system and are
dumped into the real world, which is not the world of Britney
Spears, they have no idea what's going on and have to spend
considerable time figuring it out.
you saying that teens should have more freedom? No, they already
have too much freedom—they are free to spend, to be disrespectful,
to stay out all night, to have sex and take drugs. But they're
not free to join the adult world, and that's what needs to change.
recent surveys I've found that American teens are subjected
to more than 10 times as many restrictions as mainstream adults,
twice as many restrictions as active-duty U.S. Marines, and
even twice as many as incarcerated felons.
in America are in touch with their peers on average 65 hours
a week, compared to about four hours a week in preindustrial
cultures. In this country, teens learn virtually everything
they know from other teens, who are in turn highly influenced
by certain aggressive industries.
are young adults, even at age 13. The way they learn to become an adult
is by doing things for themselves. Adult things that demonstrate maturity,
exemplify responsibilty, encourage independent thinking. Here are a few
ideas I have explored for my teen:
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Our mission is to inspire character development and self-discovery
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There are lots of reasons to volunteer, including wanting to make
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World is Your Oyster: Cow Prodding Teens to Success
Cortez, Editor -- The Eclectic Telelgraph
many times have you had this discussion with your teen?
"You pay entirely too much attention to [your favorite worthless
pursuit goes here], it will never get you anywhere."
Teen "So, I am only [his age], this is what I want to do right
now. There is plenty of time to get serious." [or some version
of this response].
we were in St Barths in February we saw the ugliest sailboat in the
world. It was ugly. So ugly I didn't photograph it or give it much thought
until recently when I saw an article in Newsweek about that very sailboat.
To use a quote from that article, "If Darth Vadar had an intergalactic
yacht, this is what it would look like." I bring this sailboat
into this discussion because as it turns out it belongs to Tom Perkins.
You may be wondering who Tom Perkins is. From the
article in Newsweek:
the risky business of funding fledgling entrepreneurs, Perkins
performed the alchemy of turning millions into billions. He transformed
the art of venture capital—from the passive hobby of dilettante
bluebloods into a cutthroat profession that produced a generation
of Siliconillionaires. Perkins became the man to see in the Valley.
In the process, he'd become fabulously wealthy himself and amassed
great power. Along the way, in his larger-than-life life, he'd
managed to be father figure to Apple's Steve Jobs, sailing mentor
to media mogul Rupert Murdoch and the occasional muse to romance
novelist Danielle Steel, to whom he was briefly married. Perkins
even managed to get himself convicted of manslaughter in France
after a collision during a yacht race. Late in the summer of 2006,
he engineered the takedown of the chairwoman of Hewlett-Packard
over a boardroom spying scandal in which he was the white knight
or dark lord, depending on who was telling the tale.
Now, at 74, Perkins was setting out to transform the art of sailing
and create a vessel through which his boundless ego could be expressed.
His $130 million yacht, anchored in front of the palace, was the
Maltese Falcon, a 21st-century clipper ship that was bigger, faster,
riskier, higher-tech and more expensive than any private sailing
craft on the planet.
Perkins has been a character I've followed over the years, mainly because
I came from the corporate America he funded - high tech. Tom Perkins,
in his own way is successful. I wonder what his mother used to say to
him about his worthless pursuits.
occurred to me recently that even though our kids may be involved in
what we perceive as worthless pursuits, they are involved in these for
a reason. It is our job as parents, in my opinion, to get to the reason
behind the pursuit. Is it a pursuit that will contribute to the success
of this person? As the adult in the situation, it's up to you to weigh
your experience and knowledge against the observation. It if is indeed
a worthless pursuit, one that is brain melting, then intervene, otherwise,
let them explore it - within reason.
how do you know what a worthless pursuit is these days with all the
changes since many of us born in the sixties were teens? Well, keep
informed. Some of these pursuits may be addictions and just not the
ones we are familiar with. There are many new things our teens get addicted
to and spend their time on. The key to not letting this happen, or redirecting
the energy is active parenting. Sometimes it's tough to tell your teen
"no", or "you not going to do that any more" especially
when you observe it is something they are really interested in. But
one thing to remember, telling them "no" now, may mean the
difference between a healthy future and one that will cause heartache.It
really is up to you, the parent to develop courage, responsibility and
character in your children. How you do that may just involve unpleasant
moments with your young adult and that takes courage.
courage gets back to our friend Mr. Perkins. It takes courage to be
successful, (it takes courage to build a sailboat like he did) though
I may not agree with how Mr. Perkins reached his level of success. Anyone
you might name as a true hero has done something that requires courage.
If they do not have a courageous act in their background, then they
are not a hero.
is what distinguishes children from adults. Show me an adult that has
no responsibilities and I'll bet they are an unbearable person to be
around. People who successfully manage responsibilities are interesting
people because it takes intelligence and courage to be responsible.
It also takes character to manage the many responsibilities of the adult
world. Character is the most difficult, yet in my opinion, the absolute
most important set of skills to impart on our teens.
might wonder why one would teach character, well, because character
is the core of a person, it is the sum of habits, attitudes and qualities.
It is the job of the parent to teach character in my opinion. The Josephson
Institute of Ethics lists
Six Pillars of Character as:
it's not just the idea to teach these things to your teen, because how
you live your life says a lot more than the words you choose. Live your
life courageously, responsibly and with character and your teen will follow
Game Addiction: A Medical Disorder?
American Medical Association Seeks To Have Obsessive Game
Playing Declared A Psychiatric Disorder
CBS News, June 22, 2007
The telltale signs are ominous: teens holing up in their
rooms, ignoring friends, family, even food and a shower, while
their grades plummet and belligerence soars.
This weekend, the AMA will debate the report, which warns in
particular about online games involving role-playing and never-ending
quests — games like World of Warcraft, Everquest, or Final
Fantasy, Sieberg reports.
Up to 90 percent of American youngsters play video games and
as many as 15 percent of them — more than 5 million
kids — may be addicted, according to data cited
in the AMA council's report.
View a CBS News Video: Separating
Fantasy and Reality
(you have to wait for some pretty annoying commercials while
the clip loads, but the clip is worthwhile.)
Recruiters seek soldiers on a hot sport's battlefields.
By Andrew Romano
Newsweek, March 19, 2007
"Where else can you find young men who have a better-than-average
idea of how to conduct themselves in a firefight?"
paintball won't replace bonuses or benefits as a top recruiting
tool anytime soon, the fast-growing sport has emerged in recent
months as a promising source of fresh fighters at a time when
the armed forces are stretched thin. Keenly aware that paintball's
10.4 million participants make it more popular among Americans
than baseball, surfing or snowboarding, Elder, a player himself,
began trolling Long Island events for prospects late last year.
After five "low-key" trips, his unit has signed up two
new troops and identified another 50 who "seem interested."
Recruiters in Minnesota, Pennsylvania, California, Chicago and
North Dakota have also scoped out paintball events.
YouTube Video: 5 Ways to tell you're addicted
up is the rage, but is it healthy?
By Barbara F. Meltz,
Boston Globe, February 13, 2007
Hooking up has come
to define sexual relationships for most of today's teens and young
women. It can mean anything from kissing and touching to oral
sex or intercourse. Vagueness is its hallmark. "A girl can
say, 'I hooked up with so-and-so,' and no one knows what she did.
It protects you and makes you a player at the same time,"
says Aparicio, who admits to her share of high school hook ups.
The most benign fallout from being unhooked is that young women
delay dating and marriage. "The problem with that is they
pick up a lot of bad habits that makes it hard to sustain a long-term
commitment, like not being able to trust or share or know how
to disagree and make up," Stepp says. More seriously, being
unhooked can lead to depression, alcohol abuse, anorexia, and
What young women don't count on is oxytocin , a chemical produced
in the brain to promote feelings of connection and love. Oxytocin
is most commonly associated with breast - feeding; it's what helps
a mother bond with her infant. But it's also produced to lesser
degrees during sex. The more intense the sex, the more oxytocin.
Males also get a dose of it from sex, but they get a bigger dose
of testosterone, which suppresses the oxytocin. [read
"Only yesterday boys and girls spoke of embracing and kissing
(necking) as getting to first base. Second base was deep kissing,
plus groping and fondling this and that. Third base was oral sex.
Home plate was going all the way. That was yesterday. Here in
the year 2000 we can forget about necking. Today's girls and boys
have never heard of anything that dainty. Today first base is
deep kissing, now known as tonsil hockey, plus groping and fondling
this and that. Second base is oral sex. Third base is going all
the way. Home plate is being introduced by name.
Texting Teens, an OMG Moment When the Phone Bill Arrives
By Margaret Webb Pressler
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Rubenstein, 17, got in trouble the way a lot of teens do these
days. Her incessant text-messaging racked up a huge phone bill
on the family's wireless plan.
"It's whatever pops into my head. There's no stopping it,"
she said. "Sometimes I'll be on the phone with someone and
I get texted, and then I'm having two conversations at once."
Last month the Washington high school junior used 6,807 text messages,
which, at a rate of 15 cents apiece for most of them, pushed the
family's Verizon Wireless bill to more than $1,100 for the month.
Big Boatload of Ego
Silicon Valley's Tom Perkins builds the largest,
riskiest, highest-tech, most self-indulgent sailboat ever made.
by David A. Kaplan
Glassboro, New Jersey
Glassboro, NJ 08028
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asset for the region and the profession.
( June 27, 2007 -- The Rowan University Blimp Team won the third
annual Indoor Flying Robot Competition (IARC) hosted recently
at Drexel University in Philadelphia. The team received a plaque
that the school will hold until next year’s competition.)
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Philadelphia, PA 19104-2875
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