The
Overscheduled Child
by
Amy Cortez, Editor - The Eclectic Telegraph
A
friend recently commented to me about another parent "they
drive them to a bunch of activities and schedule so many things
for them to do that when they don't have anything planned for
them, they don't know what to do."
I
asked "so do you think that makes them a good parent?"
They replied, "this parent thinks they are super parent,
when really I have observed is all that they have with those kids
is a superficial relationship because they don't really spend
any time together, rather they let all these non-family members
coach, instruct and mentor their kids."
Now
one could take that conversation as gossip, but it made me realize
the very special relationship homeschooling parents end up having
with their kids because of the time we spend coaching, instructing
and mentoring our kids. Personally, I think many activities outside
the home are used more for babysitting than anything else. Organized
soccer for 5 year olds? Are you kidding me? Show me a kid that
is “too busy” and I will show you parents that just
want to have someone else be responsible for their kids for a
while.
I
wanted to research this observation my friend made nd found that
this is a real problem in today's world, it's called hyper-parenting,
we just missed it at our house. "Hyper-parenting" occurs
when parents over-manage and over-schedule their child’s
life. There's also the term "helicopter parents". Helicopter
parents hover. and they are always on the lookout for threats
to their children's success and happiness. It seems that parenting
has become a competitive sport.
I imagine most homeschooling families won't experience this phenomenon,
but maybe not. I imagine that many parents of gifted kids might
see this happening in their family because often with a gifted
child we feel we must give our children all the opportunities
we can. It has been my experience so far that if you let kids
be kids, they turn out to be pretty healthy, well adjusted and
personable people complete with their own opinions, set of values
and responsibilities. Some ideas I have implemented at our house:
Family
is a Priority.
Relationships matter, more than anything else. Our children are
with us for a short time before they head out into their own lives.
We ought to enjoy them, we ought to spend quality time with them.
Character
Counts.
How you live your life in front of your child matters more than
how you tell him he ought to be living his. Character lasts a
lifetime. Live the values that are important to you, because your
children will emulate you when they grow up and go out into the
world.
Childhood
is a Preparation.
No one ought to be on stage all the time. Kids should not be judged
on every aspect of their life. Children are children should not
be expected to perform to adult standards. Resist the pressure
from external forces that tell you how to push your child to excel
early.
Fun
Has A Place in Parents' Lives.
Our brief time on earth is meant to be enjoyed. Our closest relationships
should be a source of pleasure, not constant pressure and tension.
Fun
Has A Place In Kids' Lives.
Childhood shouldn't be an endless flow of productivity and self-improvement
activities. Kids deserve to have fun, down time, and empty spaces
in their lives to fill any way they choose to. A lot of supposedly
"fun" scheduled activities are anything but fun; they
are pressured times when a child is expected to perform, especially
the perfectionistic gifted child.
Trust
Yourself.
Don't believe the experts who tell you they know how you ought
to raise your child. When it comes to your family, you are the
expert.
  Description
from Amazon: In this digital age there is still a place
for knots, skimming stones and stories of incredible courage.
This book recaptures Sunday afternoons, stimulates curiosity,
and makes for great father-son activities. The brothers
Conn and Hal have put together a wonderful collection of
all things that make being young or young at heart fun—building
go-carts and electromagnets, identifying insects and spiders,
and flying the world's best paper airplanes. |
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